Will I pull through?

regrets....
Sometimes I regret I started it and sometimes I regret that I ended it.
maybe... I'm just not meant to be happy....
Maybe it's meant for me to live with this pain...
I hate , I hate being alone.....
I'm scared to sleep alone....
I'm afraid what will happen when my mom leaves me....
She's been sick... I'm worried sick...
Will she recover? Will she pull through? What should I do when I lose her?
So many questions.. And they just make me feel more and more helpless...
Sometimes I feel like I have no one... then I realise that I have my mom...
And my friends .... but the problem is... I'm confused.
I want them to know that I'm hurting, breaking apart..
but also, I want to be strong, like mom.. At least I used to be strong...
But sometimes I feel like I have no father.... Mostly I miss him..
But it hurts to know , that all this life, we are nothing to him...
Why? Why did I not have any true friends when I still got to see my family in a piece?
Why did my mom treat my dad that way?
Why was grandma so difficult and scary?
WHY did I not have a pleasant childhood?
Why ? why? why?
Why does it have to be this way?
Why is my dad so irresponsible?
Why is my brother so thoughtless?
Why do I always have difficulties in my life?
Why does my heart ache so much? As if it's tearing apart...
As if it's wounds are getting worse... Inflict injury on the wound...
one problem add to another.. why ?
Why can't I get comfort? why this feeling?
Devastated... Frustrated... I can't concentrate .. no longer

This heartache, will it go away?

Life is kinda hard, I can't help it.
To him who just wants to ahem , you gotta act better.
like please, I can see it, so obvious
I hate you , I hope you don't come back
I don't care if it's tearing me apart
I hope I do well for EOY .
I'm trying very very hard.
& lastly, I think I'm falling for someone impossible and someone I shouldn't fall for ...

Empty as a doll

My life turn lifeless

With out you, I realise I'm nothing.
Without love I guess I'm breaking.
Like a beach without water.
My life is empty without you here.
-May




I composed this because I realise that I miss being loved.
I hate being lonely.
I hate being devastated and torn.
I can't go on, all of a sudden, my defenses start to crack and tumble down.
Where did all my forged numbness and indifference go?
I have to have him but he's looking the other way

It's been a long time

Not taking your bullshit talk, I know you too well





Hello peeps! :D
Back again. Lazy type, i shall be quite these days.
Daniel is cute, I miss Shawn.
I WANT ZE QUAN BACK ! T.T

See you peeps, I shall plurk now :D

I believe in you no more

Today was a heck of a day for me but I'm glad I sort it out.
Thank you HT, thank you Adam (:
& sorry Hong Yae , really.

You are no longer the prime of my life

Missing the past&crying over it.

I miss every single little things & I hate having this feeling.

when the hopes are gone&

I hate to say I love you but I have to admit it.
You have been toying with me for so long and I didn't realise it.
I'm such a sucker to not know that you are a fucker.
It was always me who gave in to you but you never ever gave a thought about me.
it's really over now, this time. I will completely focus on my studies and forget about being with you.




I've been forcing myself lately to be on time for school, to do homework, to look happy and listen to everything my mom says.I really don't want to hurt my mom anymore, I don't want her to feel that way ever again. I realise that i have been fooling around for a long long time already. I have to pick myself up and be mommy's good girl again. It's good I cut my hair because I look horrible now, so I won't have to even consider dating.I hope mom feels better, more encouraged. I will try my best to do well in my exams, I believe I can do it. It's just that I need some supports. Mom, I love you
P.S I love Mala too (:






































I found this while doing a project, the D&T one
hahaha, so explict XD