when it's too late

Why can't just someone come up to me and tell me that he loves me and mean it?


Life sucks. I need to hang out with new friends. I need a change.
I want to be happy again and I'm trying to fight for it.
How come I have no energy...

the final goodbye

I don't wanna care anymore.
You'll be my past , I'll make my own future.
I can face the world , I know I can.
Though it's just me against the world,
I'll embrace what I have now and what I am.
I'll grow up, I'll accept that I'm nothing to you.
I love you and good bye.
This shall be the last. Farewell. . .

give me a kiss&

I miss my hair

waiting for my miracle &
waiting for you to notice me
to find me & to love me
But I've been waiting so long
when will you discover me?

Life's been meaningless
empty and alone since someone chose to change our friendship
I admit I'll miss those memories but I assure you I'll live with it
could you say it's fate?
I don't know
I only know that I'm alone, again
Recently, keep running into Peeklin
thank god, I miss her man
She's really nice, I feel like we're so alike
we always get mistaken by those who surrounds me
they don't understand at all.....
well, assumptions and prejudice
I've had enough
give me a break of this suffering
I just feel so left out whenever and wherever I am
Stupid, I hate it.
but not with peeklin, we sort of fit in
hahahaha, she's become a good girl
at least she's got good morals
& yes I am Strange, so what
&& I don't like that particular girl who act cute so much
too much, you ca see, I dunno why others so blind.
Stupid, she's not nice at all
STOP ACTING CUTE IN FRONT OF ME
makes my eyes hurt man
can;t stand it, so short some more
think she so pretty, ewww...
sigh, first time , i keep getting disgusted.
well, i gotta shake it off.
I used to be so nice but naive
well... at least I've seen more of the world
well.. see you next time



Just when you thought that was it, everything changes

Will I pull through?

regrets....
Sometimes I regret I started it and sometimes I regret that I ended it.
maybe... I'm just not meant to be happy....
Maybe it's meant for me to live with this pain...
I hate , I hate being alone.....
I'm scared to sleep alone....
I'm afraid what will happen when my mom leaves me....
She's been sick... I'm worried sick...
Will she recover? Will she pull through? What should I do when I lose her?
So many questions.. And they just make me feel more and more helpless...
Sometimes I feel like I have no one... then I realise that I have my mom...
And my friends .... but the problem is... I'm confused.
I want them to know that I'm hurting, breaking apart..
but also, I want to be strong, like mom.. At least I used to be strong...
But sometimes I feel like I have no father.... Mostly I miss him..
But it hurts to know , that all this life, we are nothing to him...
Why? Why did I not have any true friends when I still got to see my family in a piece?
Why did my mom treat my dad that way?
Why was grandma so difficult and scary?
WHY did I not have a pleasant childhood?
Why ? why? why?
Why does it have to be this way?
Why is my dad so irresponsible?
Why is my brother so thoughtless?
Why do I always have difficulties in my life?
Why does my heart ache so much? As if it's tearing apart...
As if it's wounds are getting worse... Inflict injury on the wound...
one problem add to another.. why ?
Why can't I get comfort? why this feeling?
Devastated... Frustrated... I can't concentrate .. no longer

This heartache, will it go away?

Life is kinda hard, I can't help it.
To him who just wants to ahem , you gotta act better.
like please, I can see it, so obvious
I hate you , I hope you don't come back
I don't care if it's tearing me apart
I hope I do well for EOY .
I'm trying very very hard.
& lastly, I think I'm falling for someone impossible and someone I shouldn't fall for ...

Empty as a doll

My life turn lifeless

With out you, I realise I'm nothing.
Without love I guess I'm breaking.
Like a beach without water.
My life is empty without you here.
-May




I composed this because I realise that I miss being loved.
I hate being lonely.
I hate being devastated and torn.
I can't go on, all of a sudden, my defenses start to crack and tumble down.
Where did all my forged numbness and indifference go?
I have to have him but he's looking the other way

It's been a long time

Not taking your bullshit talk, I know you too well





Hello peeps! :D
Back again. Lazy type, i shall be quite these days.
Daniel is cute, I miss Shawn.
I WANT ZE QUAN BACK ! T.T

See you peeps, I shall plurk now :D

I believe in you no more

Today was a heck of a day for me but I'm glad I sort it out.
Thank you HT, thank you Adam (:
& sorry Hong Yae , really.

You are no longer the prime of my life