A smile broken yet so perfect

sigh...
really, I don't know what's making me feel all depressed. . .
But the problem is i dun even know why..
and i'm missing him! all of a sudden.. my 1st eva boyfriend..
and that's so sad...
i just...i ..dunno how to explain it..
it just make me so sad...
i miss his embraces...
and his touch, his laughter, his lame jokes and every single little thing abt him...
and the way he made me feel so special...
I mean no one, ok, no one ever made feel that way before...
not even my own family i'm sad to say...
And i feel that I'm returning to the old sad may with a completely perfect smile....
a smile that is the pretense for covering up her misery and sadness and loneliness...
sometimes I wander if i ever will meet someone like him again..
Had I made the wrong choice?
I don't know and I'm sure I don't like regretting...
ok... I know no one's gonnaread this blog, that's why this is like a special place for me.. though I hope someone would... bother to care abt me or my blog...
gd night and sweet dreams...