deviated ;

black and white ; polar opposites
it's been tedious. but oh well. at least i can cope...
i gotta say i find it within my reach if i try hard enough.
maybe i can be happy after all..
i realised i've change in most aspects...
i know it's for the better... but somehow.. part of me yearns for the paternal love ... and also family bliss most violently... i find it hard to satisfy for i'm in such a situation...
will things ever work out? i know they'll never go back to the normal way ...
but when my mom blurted out that the reason she hadnt divorced my dad is because i used to say as a child that i want to live happily in a loving family... it must be hard for her... and she says he has a woman and might even have had children with her... i know why he never call me for my birthday anymore... why he hadnt written to me and why he stopped calling. . . i miss him terribly...
but i dont cry anymore... i've accepted and braced myself for the new beginning of my life...
all will go well.. All will go well .. hopefully